what is wrong with me?

i should be doubting wheter or not we should even be together not daydreaming about us getting our first home together but i can't stop though. i see a shit hole where we're painting the walls and cleaning the carpets. goodwill shopping and attempting to plant some flowers or something. i see us in our kitchen attemptimg to cook. come here.... learn with me.. kiss me in our home...

trust

I want to kiss you, but i don't.
i want to trust everything you say
but when i've allowed myself to completely trust you before
you have proven me wrong.